Marketing nonsense you should dodge

Here's a summary of marketing-related nonsense I see quite often and that you should try to avoid.

Predictable growth (consultant speak)

I see a lot of consultants pontificate that they deliver this: predictable growth. As I posted recently on LinkedIn, the very company that basically invented the term predictable ARR (annual recurring revenue), Salesforce, has seen a massive dive in its own revenue growth rate. There goes predictability out the door.

AI-generated chart of Salesforce revenue

High growth (agencies & networking events)

This one is also pretty common, especially among networking organisations and agency pitches. It's a bit like saying you only date beautiful people and only hang out with the rich. Life just doesn't work like that. Besides, if you are worth your salt as a marketer or organisation, you'll happily work with low-growth, low-status businesses and help turn them around.

Civitas ad, cnr Madikizela & Sandton Drives

Only A-players (recruitment nonsense)

Many businesses claim they only want to work with elite "A-players", especially when it comes to marketing. They're hoping that they can eliminate the uncertainty of investing in growth by working with geniuses. You see this often on job boards like Upwork. The bottom line is that marketing is hard; the market will always outsmart you and there's no such thing as a silver bullet.

My very impressive strategy deck

Finally, below is a link to an updated presentation sharing some learnings, insights, and answers to common marketing questions, such as:

Is my agency screwing me?
How much should I spend on marketing?
How long should I wait before marketing shows results?

It's a work in progress, hence the Google Slides link (if you come back in a month, there will be more slides):

👉 View the Google Slides Deck

I'll send my next mailer in July.

Cheers,

Bernard

Bernard is the owner of Firejuice, a marketing consultancy helping ambitious businesses take a structured approach to growth.

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